Thursday, June 22, 2006
As I recall, on the 31st of May, my friends were fighting for their lives to submit their thesis. Right before 13.00 hours, West Indonesia Time. A lot of you may not believing this, but I am,was and is fighting for my own self as well. Suddenly from that wednesday, my conscious evoke
. Watashi wa Katarinada. Katarina dakeda.Hoka no hito mo inai. Finally for more than 22 years of my life appears before my eyes. It was like a moment before death struck into my minds. So there was me. Flying here and there, never actually having, wanting, or even living. I mean, come on... we wouln't consider being honest-spoiled-depending-and careless as some human's life, would we?! Or perhaps it is, for some of the readers, cause it was for me. But today, since that late May, I's say ENOUGH!!! I can no longer be that ENTERTAINER where I'm the one who supposed to be funny, smile
, to be the object to laugh at, the 1 you go to when nobody wasn;t there, being the one who supposed to be mature, thinking of others and crying by myself for nobody was there when I needed them to be,...NO!!!
I CAN'T, I WON'T, and I refuse to do that AGAIN!! NOT AGAIN! It's simply not possible again. I will fight for myself
. I will no longer say 'It's OK' Cause IT'S NOT OK!!!I mean WHO DO YOU THINK I AM??WHO THE F
**K DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?? We're just siblings!And as the Japs said, sibling is the beginning of a stranger!!There you have it! And don't even try to think that I'm the 1 started all of this, I wasn't. But I'm glad you started it now. I really am!It will prepared me to face the outside. In fact, I guess this is how Jesus wants me to go abroad, to Canada. This is His signn
. I would have have to be independent there, right?!I really appreciate this, My Lord, Jesus, Thanx a million!!
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