After several mistakes, I can’t say I’m not finally learned something. One, love is actually never meant for me. Doesn’t matter what those advertisement said, no matter how history tells all great love tales, or churches promoting it loud and sound. It’s just not for me. Being bitter you said? no. I’m just being honest and real to myself. If there are some people actually interested in me, I know that they’re just enjoying my charm or that they’re yearning to touch my body. Such shame this last thing never occurred to me since all guys (and girls) has always been doing a lot of molestations to me ever since I’m 9 years old. Really. To top it all, this person I have a huge thing didn’t even give a second thought of me and being too polite to touch me. How ironic was that??! What about this one guy who really in to me even after he’s married? The answer is that because he’s such a jerk and his wife is 6 months pregnant.
2nd thing I’ve learnt so far is that it is useless to express your affection. I really envy those cold bastards who can freeze their facial expression at any occasions. Lucky person these people actually. Years ago I can hide almost any feeling I felt. There’s no reason why I can’t start that again. Being so yummy and crunchy all the time is killing me. I guess growing up include to be extra friendly in my family and I can not stop that habit. Really sucks isn’t?!
3rd, life is such a waste to be wasting over without working or being bad. Why should I stop myself from being workaholic and being so selfish? Life is just once. So many things I can buy with my money, I gotta stop myself from being so desperate and just go shopping. And then afterwards I can buy almost anything in this world but I can’t be happy… Waw.