How ironic
After several mistakes, I can’t say I’m not finally learned something. One, love is actually never meant for me. Doesn’t matter what those advertisement said, no matter how history tells all great love tales, or churches promoting it loud and sound. It’s just not for me. Being bitter you said? no. I’m just being honest and real to myself. If there are some people actually interested in me, I know that they’re just enjoying my charm or that they’re yearning to touch my body. Such shame this last thing never occurred to me since all guys (and girls) has always been doing a lot of molestations to me ever since I’m 9 years old. Really. To top it all, this person I have a huge thing didn’t even give a second thought of me and being too polite to touch me. How ironic was that??! What about this one guy who really in to me even after he’s married? The answer is that because he’s such a jerk and his wife is 6 months pregnant.
2nd thing I’ve learnt so far is that it is useless to express your affection. I really envy those cold bastards who can freeze their facial expression at any occasions. Lucky person these people actually. Years ago I can hide almost any feeling I felt. There’s no reason why I can’t start that again. Being so yummy and crunchy all the time is killing me. I guess growing up include to be extra friendly in my family and I can not stop that habit. Really sucks isn’t?! Especially when others are just being so cool and acted so mysteriously you ended up being silly. Geez that’s so annoying. Feels like you are the Christmas bells and they are the boring eastern bunny. Go a head and fucked yourself you lousy pig!
3rd, life is such a waste to be wasting over without working or being bad. Why should I stop myself from being workaholic and being so selfish? Life is just once. So many things I can buy with my money, I gotta stop myself from being so desperate and just go shopping. After all those are my own money, I am fully aware of it which means I can use ‘em as I pleased. I must pay myself for being patient and highly understanding of my own self. A lot of people would find it hard to accept me as their body since it’s not quite perfect as one’s might hoped it would be. I must think of something special for myself, do you have any ideas, guys?!?
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Padokg
- 2008-10-18 @ 10:49:12
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- 2008-10-19 @ 06:42:14
Hi,
I never thought anybody would actually read that.Ahahah....I must've misspeled or sumthing....hweheheh.....
You are right by the way,it is my laptop who can cure this burden.I can write almost anythin in it..Oh I do read your poems but I'm just too dull to give any comment...lol
Everybody keeps on telling me to be strong and have faith.I guess that's the only thing we can do,don't u think??-
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Padokg
- 2008-10-23 @ 09:20:20
true, faith is what keeps us strong and the words we write are our magic tool to redemption of the pain we feel and cant share. actually you have great writings. i sauppose i'll be checking them more often. for me too my poems and the words i write on my laptop are the magic i use to get me releved from different things and issues. i guess we have something in common. chao.
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hi, know what when the world just sucks, there is only one place to run to; the white page and scribble all the things your head can think of. actually i write love poems but i've never realy been in love nor do i know how it feels to be in love. sometimes looking at how lover act, it really sucks and so it at times scares me. But girl you got an interesting writing. i loved reading this article.